Is it normal to have sexual fantasies about things that we have no intention of doing? How else can I walk through this with him? Is it O.K. I want him to feel comfortable, and I also want him to know that he can be honest with me. I’ve decided all I can do is keep the lines of communication open. I don’t think he’s ready to face it, and I’m not ready to admit my snooping. I know you’re thinking I should talk to him, but I can’t. I’d rather love him through this than be without him. I’m afraid he wants to be with men (though I know that looking at a site such as this doesn’t make him gay or even bisexual). I’m afraid he’ll go farther and cheat on me. He was so at ease during our conversation that I believed him, but I’m terrified that he’s unable to tell me the truth because he’s buried it. I said that I only wanted to be with him, and he said he felt the same way. He asked me if I was trying to tell him I was bisexual. I didn’t confront him, but I talked to him about sexuality and told him how normal it was to fantasize. It didn’t look as if anything transpired beyond that, yet I feel stuck. My boyfriend answered one of the ads in graphic terms that he’s never used with me. Recently, I snooped on his phone and learned that he’d been on a site where men solicit other men for sex. My boyfriend and I have been in a monogamous relationship for over a year.
